Moments.

Life's busy as it is. Issues are being stirred up at work which is really very perturbing, especially when it's being caused by specific people, or person i must say. Tolerance is key, yet everyone has their own individual levels of putting on that big wide smile and carrying on with life. Mine is just about to spillover at that specific imbecile who keeps running around stirring things up.

Alright. Enough of the negativity.

You know how there are specific moments in life where you just really want to record down; those moments that just give you that spark in life, or that timely epiphany, that just makes life so meaningful, and all?

I was on the train home to meet my friends today after work. What happned was that a group of elderly ladies came aboard the train. A commuter sitting on one of the seats stood up for them to sit. What followed was that 3 other commuters stood up consecutively for the remaining 3 of them standing, resulting in quite a few smiles around the carriage as the elderly ladies were giiven a seat for themselves one by one.

It's just amazing how a simple act of grace can spark off a chain of similar events so beautiful upon the moral compasses of all who witnessed it.

I guess this really teaches the 'waiting generation' of Singaporeans, a predominant group of our citizens, that there really isnt a need for a "I'll wait to see if anybody does it, if not, i'll do it" mentality. Take the lead and be the first to step forward with that act of grace, and inspire the remaining to do the same. It's that simple.

-

And there were other moments.

I was walking home from the train station, letting my mind wander after a day of work, when i suddenly remembered a rather hilarious event from when I was still in secondary school. I had just received an essay I had written, which I finally surpassed the 80percent mark which i was really aiming to get. Out of a sheer moment of childishness, I did a front flip in my class, in front of all my classmates and my teacher, and landed on my back. For one, I had never even attempted a front flip before, least to say succeeded. Oh, and of course, never in front of such a setting out of the blue. The point really was neither about the first or the latter, but of that spark of child within me. Replete with stuff in my life right now, at an age where much of that "child" shouldnt be lacking, I wonder, where have all of it gone too?

A friend once told me: You sometimes appear younger than you look, but the moment I get to know you well enough, you seem to age several years before my eyes.

But I guess it really isnt that bad in many ways. We have to leave that childhood behind sooner or later, why not now? Don't we all have to come to that point where we bemoan that little child within that sphere of innocence that we left behind years back?

-

Anyway, despite the weary two days, I must say that it has really been a fulfilling experience for myself, and I hope likewise for those whom i have taught. Many weeks more to come, and I'm really thankful for those little jaunts after work wiith friends who take that edge off work. :)


Thats that then, another awesome week ahead.

yes, life's still awesome, no matter how you look at it.

Of precious gems, old and new

Yeah it's been awhile.

thats cause of 750words.com which is really stealing all those little bits of randoms on my mind :)

Anyway, I just want to share a little quote from my friend's blog which i really found, simply beautiful. It's said in reference to an Islamic viewpoint. While I do not really subscribe particularly to any religious viewpoint, I must say that this really made a lot of sense, and beautifully was it brought forth.

( i paraphrased abit )

~
The father took a good look at his daughter, and sat her down on his lap.

And this were the words he spoke:

Anna, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground,covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them."

He then looked at her with serious eyes. "Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too. (Only the One will deserve to unearth your true beauty)."
~

This is in reference (correct me i'm wrong), to the traditional Islamic view that women should be well covered in Islamic garb, the hijab. There has been other variations, such as the tudung as well.

yep.

Right, as some of you may know, I have just returned from my trip to Germany, and yes that ends my hectic (full) attachments over to the other band. Hope to spend the next few months really working on some of the goals i have in my mind, mainly, my percussion technique, some jazz theory, my body (yes i need much need exericise) and SATs. Yes i am finally going to take the SATS test which most of my academic counterparts have already taken (had they already decided to take it in the first place).

Why, you may ask. Well it's most of a personal challenge as well as a bid to ensure that my mind does not rot into oblivion from the sheer lack of stimulation now that I've been out of the academic life for more than a year. Oh don't get me wrong, national service is mentally stimulating as well, ( some may beg to differ, of course ), but it's definitely a huge departure from the insane studying for the Alevels.

Right. Time of the year with 2 major events colliding. The lunar new year, as well as the enlistment of young men into the service. This means a whole bout of meeting up with old friends and new in the name of reunion, as well as bidding our farewells for a month or so to these future enlistees (their next few months, whatever rest days that they get, would probably be used for what it is meant to be, rest - a system reboot for the coming week of training)

So there.

Writer's Block

Havent really been posting lately; posting being concrete, proper posts which my prior two posts are not.

Lots of things have been happening in my life.

Hectic i would say, tiring, definitely.

But everytime i sit down to type, words seem to fail the moment i place my fingers on the keyboard.

Alright. there it is.

another nonsensical , mundane post, out of the gazillions in the blogosphere bemoaning the perils of the writer's block.

till then.

On My Own.

-delete-


I deleted both posts.

This blog is really not for rants. but in my anger i forgot.

Irresponsibilty

-delete-

It's A Quiet Night

Merry Christmas everybody

Back Here

went out with my parents yesterday noon to my granddad's

He's getting on quite poorly these days, Alzheimer's taking a toll on him. Brought him out for lunch and sat down talking with him, while Mum busied herself in their kitchen, and Dad, forever silent, sat aside reading his papers.

We sat there talking, him asking me the same questions about my life, my brother, where i was, and where he was, over and over again.

then he turned to my Mum suddenly, asking

"when are your sons arriving?"

The pain that the families suffer in light of a single disease is unimaginable, but we all take it in our stride, just for the single happiness of the patient.

For his smile at finding out about his grandchild's life, even for the single minute before he forgets, i'll gladly answer the same questions again and again.

~

Went to my Granduncle's house next, my Uncle just came back from New Zealand with his wife and year old daughter, my baby cousin :)

It always marvels me how mature grown ups revert to their googoogagas upon seeing a single baby.

That saying, she's disgustingly cute :) Spent a whole hour just letting her play with my fingers.

-

It seems highly poignant, a beautiful the cycle of life is.

With the old brings the new, and it just goes on, my uncles and aunts, and my parents will soon grow old, and my cousins, grown up. And newer generations will grow and take our places, of us running around the playground when we were young.

I guess that's life ain it.

-

It was a tiring day, emotionally.

and It's a lazy Sunday today, an afternoon to rest before rehearsal at night.

Hello Stranger

hello stranger,

stranger of old,
i knew you long,
long before we met

i seen you on the bus
on the way to school
it's never been a hi
nor has it been a bye

i saw you on the train
a carriage of coincidence
2 years down
and still the same

never been a hi
nor has it been a bye

hello stranger,

our pathes aligned,
all this while
but never do they cross
and never will be

(?)

to the people whom we know, yet not know, in our lives

Is there really a future?

Fog

While the haze is really getting on my nerves, i must say, walking home from the interchange at night, the hazy night skies has a certain musky appeal to it, sombre, yet reflective. Exuding a certain kinda of peace and tranquility to it. Just like how the Manhattan suburbans has that dinghy yet rustic feel to it.

And, i'm happy.

Clipped

I don't understand why my parents behave certain ways at times. I do know it all stems from their concern for me, but really.

Mum, Dad, I'm not drifting away, neither am I hanging out with the wrong crowd, neither do i not know what is home anymore.

I love you all more than ever. I try to make sure our family dinners, just us four, when bro comes back from hall on weekends remains at least a weekly affair. I don't lock myself away in the room whenever i get the chance, I want to talk to you all more than ever, cause you're family.

I love my friends and I truly believe in my own judgements and my limits. I just want you all to trust me.

And i love home truly. when i was overseas with the orchestra 2 years ago during my birthday, did you know how much i yearned for home? did you know the simple msg you all and brother sent to me meant so much to me, sitting by the window of my room, staring out into the night sky?

I love you all, but the things that happen really tear me up from inside, cause i can never resent you all despite the immense frustration i feel.

~

Someone whom i only just begun to talk to recently, said something to me today which i felt really made alot of sense:

Sometimes, we don't need to judge, neither do we need to care what they judge of you. Just live, and let it be.

Thorns

Must we start quarelling ourselves once our elders have passed on.

Do we all not feel ashamed of ourselves, when the memories of their lives still remain vivid in our senses?

Must what we call family, crumble to bits over little matters like this?

Why.

Dissent

Sep 29, 2010

GOVT'S RESPONSE TO CENSORSHIP REVIEW COMMITTEES' PROPOSALS

Dialect content restrictions stay

By Lai Han-Wei

RESTRICTIONS on dialect content will stay as lifting them would undermine the Government's efforts to promote Mandarin.

The Ministry of Information, Communications and the Arts (Mica) on Wednesday explained that the dialect policy was premised on the need to promote a common mother tongue among the Singaporean Chinese community.

'Allowing full dialect content on all mediums would undermine our ongoing efforts to promote Mandarin,' said a Mica statement, in responce to recommendations by the Censorship Review Committee.

The panel has proposed that restrictions on dialect content be lifted entirely unless there is 'compelling evidence to support their continuation.'

Mica, however, said it recognised the needs of the elderly and has made dialect content available through several avenues, such as videos, free-to-air TV, radio and pay TV channels.

'We have taken a flexible and contextual approach in allowing dialect on both local and imported films,' Mica said, adding that there was no restriction on dialect films for film festivals.

-

Seriously? While efforts should be made not to undermine the attempts to promote Mandarin as a foreign language, should it be at a cost of stifling attempts that play a part in keeping the rich and diverse dialects alive? One important aspect of our diverse culture in the Chinese aspect is of our multitude of dialects. They serve not only as simply alternate modes of communication, but as potential channels to bridge gaps between the elder and young.

"Mica, however, said it recognised the needs of the elderly and has made dialect content available through several avenues, such as videos, free-to-air TV, radio and pay TV channels."

Is dialect really there just to cater to the needs of the elderly?

Will we come to a day where the word dialect ceases to exist in the minds of us Singaporeans.

We speak of keeping languages alive with the multitudes of Chinese promoting campaigns, but what of our age old dialects, the voice of the '60s, a heritage in its own right?

Back to Jive

Wow, it's been long since i posted anything

I guess the month's been kind of crazy, concerts, parades and all.

Speaking of which, I have one coming up this sunday which I'm really excited for cause it's gonna be the first time i'm doing the quad toms.

And this video has really inspired me to start working on jazz vibes. A lot.

Really puts my mood back into practicing again. Was really disillusioned the past few days after overstraining my wrist.

~

public? or not?

hm.

It's been a tiring 2 weeks of late.

From parades to preparing for concerts, everyday is just such a blur.

And it's so interesting how everytime i tell myself, I will have more time to rest the next week, and i find myself steeped with things to do the once the new week begins.

That saying, I'm nervous for the concert this sunday. I'm not done preparing my piece yet. Must bring it up to standard asap.

2 more tiring days before a break on saturday.

Oh Glorious Steak.

mine.


my mum's.

Oh dinner was very good indeed.

Never fails to amaze me how I can enjoy, guiltlessly, such artery choking, cholestrol inducing fare. I cant help it, I love them meat just too much. :)

Read a post by a friend that i really wanted to share. Let the post speak for itself:

The coffee bean and tea leaf is a wonderful place.

There’s coffee drinks that I take hours to finish, as voracious a drinker as I am, and I can stay here as long as I want without getting chased off to make way for other customers.

It’s an interesting concept, this coffee house business. It appeals to a different type of consumer; people don’t actually come here for the drinks per se, but instead for the atmosphere, for the air of sophistication and chill more so than the food and beverages.

The vintage couches, woody-panelled tables and jazz music wafting through speakers I just can’t seem to find anywhere in the room, each of these aspects subtlety yet significant contributes to the irresistibility of the place. And it’s smart, how they refuse to divulge their suppliers of furniture (on the website) so competition can’t get close.

How many of us really know this “coffee” anyway? Most people (embarrassingly myself as well) can’t even tell the difference between a mocha and a latte, and yet we still buy and consume, enraptured by the prospect of drinking “premium” wares from Darjeeling and Tanzania and all manner of places we never knew existed.

But let’s face it, it’s satisfying; very, very satisfying. The sale of a lifestyle, the world of ideas and brainwash that wraps tightly around the tangible product we receive, works. This is true non-price competition, handing you a cup of coffee with a background so rich that it seems as though you’re drinking life itself.

I am a victim of this unique marketing ploy, a nameless Asian statistic in an MNC’s multimillion-dollar account book. But perhaps sometime in the near future, I’ll sell a lifestyle too. But for now, I’ll try to get the Cambridge examiner fogies to buy my reasonings instead.

- Kowlife

Yes I do commonly read people's blogs and all, some even complete strangers. But there is definitely something in their posts that draws me back frequently to read. A similar chord, a shared experience, just that something in the writing that truly appeals.

Awesome post, kow (you wont see this, but yeah)

I Dreamed A Dream

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

While It Lasted

Was on board 151 on a long journey back home from nus.so concert. As it passed went along bukit timah road, many memories came flooding back.

Remembered how I used to take this bus to ccab from school every thursday for rehearsal at night. Staying back in school to finish up the random assignments before heading to rehearsal. Sacrificing dinner time to time just so i could have that extra minutes to tune the timpanis when no one has reached yet for i wasnt really experienced enough then. And going back home late at night after that, cramming on the mrt for a test the next day every now and then. Weary, but happy just simply being at the rehearsal. The fervour to perform well, the thirst for more experience. The need to play music, above all.

-

And the concert today marks the end of my constant travelling to clementi from home/camp (insanely far) twice weekly for the past 3 weeks. Playing there was an experience which I kind of have mixed feelings for. Witnessing how they worked together in all aspects, right down to people in the orchestra coming together to shift the instruments from the rehearsal venue to the concert venue, their excitement at the concert, the raw process of music making, the sense of being part of a group with a common motivation and goal. Something that i have not felt since my SYF in junior college, the sense of a shared experience and camaraderie. Playing in different places after that, it all became a process of playing the piece of music at hand, where joy really could possibly come from, if present at all in the first place, in playing that piece. Is that really the result of maturing as a player, to lose sight of everything except of the finer elements of the piece, everything boiling down to individual performance?

For the moment I felt it all with them. The excitement and joy reminiscent of then. Sadly I do not belong. And so it ends.

I'm back from duty at camp. Yes it's duty on hari raya puasa. Which is a public holiday. Where practically the rest of the world is at home :(

But something happened yesterday night that made me so happy and all warm inside.
My dad called and was actually harbouring thoughts of buying me prawn mee from longhouse and asking me to sneak out of camp to get it from him at the guardhouse.

Seriously love my parents. :)

It's going to be another busy week ahead.

Concert and parades here i come! :)

Interpretations

It really irks me when I get faced with 2 absolutely contradicting dilemmas. A soloist who refuses to take note of her accompaniments and a conductor who doesnt function as a gel between the soloist and the rest of the ensemble.

On one hand, i get dissed by the soloists for keeping strict tempi instead of pandering to their highly erratic sense of pulse and structure, On the other, i get dissed by the conductor for not having a steady pulse which obviously i cannot if i were to switch tempos according to the soloists whim, or, inability to play up to speed.

Seriously disgusting.