With an upcoming project, life's starting to get crazily hectic all over again. work in the day and rehearsals at night. By work i mean, shuttling to other camps doing countless corp of drums, and numerous inane parade rehearsals.Waking up at 6 in the morning, finish work at 530 and rushing for rehearsal at 7, which ends at 1030. Repeat cycle the next morning.

Had some how managed to secure 2 off days from work today and tomorrow due to the need for some TLC for myself, making for a long week end this week.

Slept in today, made myself some breakfast, fiddled around with the piano, read up abit on SATs; nothing beats some alone time for bodily recuperation. Hope to swim later in the afternoon, if the rain stops. And then off to rehearsal at night :)

Only downside is the irritating construction going on below my block, no idea why i seem to having construction going on all year round.

Transcribing Collin Raye's "Love me" onto piano now. Love that song. :)

right here waiting

I want you to be able
to tell me anything,
to share your joy or feel your sorrow.

I want to be with you
to accompany you
whenever you feel lonely

I want to hold you when you're sad,
to whisper into your ear,
that everything will be okay.

I want to give you a shoulder to lean upon,
when you need it the most,
to support you the way i should


I want to tell you I love you,
so many times so,
but i dare not.

Eclectic Enigmas

a small talk with my friend at the busstop waiting for our bus home made me come across a little revelation of myself. Over the years, I have found myself drawn to people for no apparent reason, at least then, as I just could not fathom why. I mean, I have friends whom I know I share common interests with, friends whom I know we can relate to one another, and then there are those that I have no idea why I felt a need to know them; to understand them.

I seem to be drawn to people who intrigue; enigmas of some sort, where there is just that something about them that we never seem to know, That magnetism (don't get me wrong, i'm not psycho, i just cant find a milder term) draws me so much that i often stop and wonder at times: why do I even want to know?

That aside, SATs are days away, a couple of days short of a month and I havent really felt this motivation to study for it ever since my Alevels which seem light years away.

I really miss this, working hard for a final purpose. It's been awhile.

As usual, it's been a long while since i posted.

Needless to say, yes my life is hectic. Ignore any lull period i ever mentioned prior to this post cause i doubt that's even existent now.

Several things are ongoing now that are really trying my limits in many senses. I guess that is resulting it much unwanted angst I've been feeling over every little thing that happens or have gone wrong.

And i don't exactly have a length fuse to my temper (which is something i really need to take control of, esp these days)

-

That saying, was caught awake last night mulling over several issues before sleeping. Listed down a couple of things I need to work towards as individual goals and targets for myself if i really want to change for the better.

One new thing to add to the list.

Tolerance.

till then,

My Arms send their warmest regards as they are currently on their dying breath from being overworked today. I guess that's their way of saying goodbye.

Moments.

Life's busy as it is. Issues are being stirred up at work which is really very perturbing, especially when it's being caused by specific people, or person i must say. Tolerance is key, yet everyone has their own individual levels of putting on that big wide smile and carrying on with life. Mine is just about to spillover at that specific imbecile who keeps running around stirring things up.

Alright. Enough of the negativity.

You know how there are specific moments in life where you just really want to record down; those moments that just give you that spark in life, or that timely epiphany, that just makes life so meaningful, and all?

I was on the train home to meet my friends today after work. What happned was that a group of elderly ladies came aboard the train. A commuter sitting on one of the seats stood up for them to sit. What followed was that 3 other commuters stood up consecutively for the remaining 3 of them standing, resulting in quite a few smiles around the carriage as the elderly ladies were giiven a seat for themselves one by one.

It's just amazing how a simple act of grace can spark off a chain of similar events so beautiful upon the moral compasses of all who witnessed it.

I guess this really teaches the 'waiting generation' of Singaporeans, a predominant group of our citizens, that there really isnt a need for a "I'll wait to see if anybody does it, if not, i'll do it" mentality. Take the lead and be the first to step forward with that act of grace, and inspire the remaining to do the same. It's that simple.

-

And there were other moments.

I was walking home from the train station, letting my mind wander after a day of work, when i suddenly remembered a rather hilarious event from when I was still in secondary school. I had just received an essay I had written, which I finally surpassed the 80percent mark which i was really aiming to get. Out of a sheer moment of childishness, I did a front flip in my class, in front of all my classmates and my teacher, and landed on my back. For one, I had never even attempted a front flip before, least to say succeeded. Oh, and of course, never in front of such a setting out of the blue. The point really was neither about the first or the latter, but of that spark of child within me. Replete with stuff in my life right now, at an age where much of that "child" shouldnt be lacking, I wonder, where have all of it gone too?

A friend once told me: You sometimes appear younger than you look, but the moment I get to know you well enough, you seem to age several years before my eyes.

But I guess it really isnt that bad in many ways. We have to leave that childhood behind sooner or later, why not now? Don't we all have to come to that point where we bemoan that little child within that sphere of innocence that we left behind years back?

-

Anyway, despite the weary two days, I must say that it has really been a fulfilling experience for myself, and I hope likewise for those whom i have taught. Many weeks more to come, and I'm really thankful for those little jaunts after work wiith friends who take that edge off work. :)


Thats that then, another awesome week ahead.

yes, life's still awesome, no matter how you look at it.

Of precious gems, old and new

Yeah it's been awhile.

thats cause of 750words.com which is really stealing all those little bits of randoms on my mind :)

Anyway, I just want to share a little quote from my friend's blog which i really found, simply beautiful. It's said in reference to an Islamic viewpoint. While I do not really subscribe particularly to any religious viewpoint, I must say that this really made a lot of sense, and beautifully was it brought forth.

( i paraphrased abit )

~
The father took a good look at his daughter, and sat her down on his lap.

And this were the words he spoke:

Anna, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground,covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them."

He then looked at her with serious eyes. "Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too. (Only the One will deserve to unearth your true beauty)."
~

This is in reference (correct me i'm wrong), to the traditional Islamic view that women should be well covered in Islamic garb, the hijab. There has been other variations, such as the tudung as well.

yep.

Right, as some of you may know, I have just returned from my trip to Germany, and yes that ends my hectic (full) attachments over to the other band. Hope to spend the next few months really working on some of the goals i have in my mind, mainly, my percussion technique, some jazz theory, my body (yes i need much need exericise) and SATs. Yes i am finally going to take the SATS test which most of my academic counterparts have already taken (had they already decided to take it in the first place).

Why, you may ask. Well it's most of a personal challenge as well as a bid to ensure that my mind does not rot into oblivion from the sheer lack of stimulation now that I've been out of the academic life for more than a year. Oh don't get me wrong, national service is mentally stimulating as well, ( some may beg to differ, of course ), but it's definitely a huge departure from the insane studying for the Alevels.

Right. Time of the year with 2 major events colliding. The lunar new year, as well as the enlistment of young men into the service. This means a whole bout of meeting up with old friends and new in the name of reunion, as well as bidding our farewells for a month or so to these future enlistees (their next few months, whatever rest days that they get, would probably be used for what it is meant to be, rest - a system reboot for the coming week of training)

So there.

Writer's Block

Havent really been posting lately; posting being concrete, proper posts which my prior two posts are not.

Lots of things have been happening in my life.

Hectic i would say, tiring, definitely.

But everytime i sit down to type, words seem to fail the moment i place my fingers on the keyboard.

Alright. there it is.

another nonsensical , mundane post, out of the gazillions in the blogosphere bemoaning the perils of the writer's block.

till then.

On My Own.

-delete-


I deleted both posts.

This blog is really not for rants. but in my anger i forgot.

Irresponsibilty

-delete-

It's A Quiet Night

Merry Christmas everybody

Back Here

went out with my parents yesterday noon to my granddad's

He's getting on quite poorly these days, Alzheimer's taking a toll on him. Brought him out for lunch and sat down talking with him, while Mum busied herself in their kitchen, and Dad, forever silent, sat aside reading his papers.

We sat there talking, him asking me the same questions about my life, my brother, where i was, and where he was, over and over again.

then he turned to my Mum suddenly, asking

"when are your sons arriving?"

The pain that the families suffer in light of a single disease is unimaginable, but we all take it in our stride, just for the single happiness of the patient.

For his smile at finding out about his grandchild's life, even for the single minute before he forgets, i'll gladly answer the same questions again and again.

~

Went to my Granduncle's house next, my Uncle just came back from New Zealand with his wife and year old daughter, my baby cousin :)

It always marvels me how mature grown ups revert to their googoogagas upon seeing a single baby.

That saying, she's disgustingly cute :) Spent a whole hour just letting her play with my fingers.

-

It seems highly poignant, a beautiful the cycle of life is.

With the old brings the new, and it just goes on, my uncles and aunts, and my parents will soon grow old, and my cousins, grown up. And newer generations will grow and take our places, of us running around the playground when we were young.

I guess that's life ain it.

-

It was a tiring day, emotionally.

and It's a lazy Sunday today, an afternoon to rest before rehearsal at night.

Hello Stranger

hello stranger,

stranger of old,
i knew you long,
long before we met

i seen you on the bus
on the way to school
it's never been a hi
nor has it been a bye

i saw you on the train
a carriage of coincidence
2 years down
and still the same

never been a hi
nor has it been a bye

hello stranger,

our pathes aligned,
all this while
but never do they cross
and never will be

(?)

to the people whom we know, yet not know, in our lives

Is there really a future?

Fog

While the haze is really getting on my nerves, i must say, walking home from the interchange at night, the hazy night skies has a certain musky appeal to it, sombre, yet reflective. Exuding a certain kinda of peace and tranquility to it. Just like how the Manhattan suburbans has that dinghy yet rustic feel to it.

And, i'm happy.

Clipped

I don't understand why my parents behave certain ways at times. I do know it all stems from their concern for me, but really.

Mum, Dad, I'm not drifting away, neither am I hanging out with the wrong crowd, neither do i not know what is home anymore.

I love you all more than ever. I try to make sure our family dinners, just us four, when bro comes back from hall on weekends remains at least a weekly affair. I don't lock myself away in the room whenever i get the chance, I want to talk to you all more than ever, cause you're family.

I love my friends and I truly believe in my own judgements and my limits. I just want you all to trust me.

And i love home truly. when i was overseas with the orchestra 2 years ago during my birthday, did you know how much i yearned for home? did you know the simple msg you all and brother sent to me meant so much to me, sitting by the window of my room, staring out into the night sky?

I love you all, but the things that happen really tear me up from inside, cause i can never resent you all despite the immense frustration i feel.

~

Someone whom i only just begun to talk to recently, said something to me today which i felt really made alot of sense:

Sometimes, we don't need to judge, neither do we need to care what they judge of you. Just live, and let it be.

Thorns

Must we start quarelling ourselves once our elders have passed on.

Do we all not feel ashamed of ourselves, when the memories of their lives still remain vivid in our senses?

Must what we call family, crumble to bits over little matters like this?

Why.

Dissent

Sep 29, 2010

GOVT'S RESPONSE TO CENSORSHIP REVIEW COMMITTEES' PROPOSALS

Dialect content restrictions stay

By Lai Han-Wei

RESTRICTIONS on dialect content will stay as lifting them would undermine the Government's efforts to promote Mandarin.

The Ministry of Information, Communications and the Arts (Mica) on Wednesday explained that the dialect policy was premised on the need to promote a common mother tongue among the Singaporean Chinese community.

'Allowing full dialect content on all mediums would undermine our ongoing efforts to promote Mandarin,' said a Mica statement, in responce to recommendations by the Censorship Review Committee.

The panel has proposed that restrictions on dialect content be lifted entirely unless there is 'compelling evidence to support their continuation.'

Mica, however, said it recognised the needs of the elderly and has made dialect content available through several avenues, such as videos, free-to-air TV, radio and pay TV channels.

'We have taken a flexible and contextual approach in allowing dialect on both local and imported films,' Mica said, adding that there was no restriction on dialect films for film festivals.

-

Seriously? While efforts should be made not to undermine the attempts to promote Mandarin as a foreign language, should it be at a cost of stifling attempts that play a part in keeping the rich and diverse dialects alive? One important aspect of our diverse culture in the Chinese aspect is of our multitude of dialects. They serve not only as simply alternate modes of communication, but as potential channels to bridge gaps between the elder and young.

"Mica, however, said it recognised the needs of the elderly and has made dialect content available through several avenues, such as videos, free-to-air TV, radio and pay TV channels."

Is dialect really there just to cater to the needs of the elderly?

Will we come to a day where the word dialect ceases to exist in the minds of us Singaporeans.

We speak of keeping languages alive with the multitudes of Chinese promoting campaigns, but what of our age old dialects, the voice of the '60s, a heritage in its own right?

Back to Jive

Wow, it's been long since i posted anything

I guess the month's been kind of crazy, concerts, parades and all.

Speaking of which, I have one coming up this sunday which I'm really excited for cause it's gonna be the first time i'm doing the quad toms.

And this video has really inspired me to start working on jazz vibes. A lot.

Really puts my mood back into practicing again. Was really disillusioned the past few days after overstraining my wrist.

~

public? or not?

hm.

It's been a tiring 2 weeks of late.

From parades to preparing for concerts, everyday is just such a blur.

And it's so interesting how everytime i tell myself, I will have more time to rest the next week, and i find myself steeped with things to do the once the new week begins.

That saying, I'm nervous for the concert this sunday. I'm not done preparing my piece yet. Must bring it up to standard asap.

2 more tiring days before a break on saturday.

Oh Glorious Steak.

mine.


my mum's.

Oh dinner was very good indeed.

Never fails to amaze me how I can enjoy, guiltlessly, such artery choking, cholestrol inducing fare. I cant help it, I love them meat just too much. :)

Read a post by a friend that i really wanted to share. Let the post speak for itself:

The coffee bean and tea leaf is a wonderful place.

There’s coffee drinks that I take hours to finish, as voracious a drinker as I am, and I can stay here as long as I want without getting chased off to make way for other customers.

It’s an interesting concept, this coffee house business. It appeals to a different type of consumer; people don’t actually come here for the drinks per se, but instead for the atmosphere, for the air of sophistication and chill more so than the food and beverages.

The vintage couches, woody-panelled tables and jazz music wafting through speakers I just can’t seem to find anywhere in the room, each of these aspects subtlety yet significant contributes to the irresistibility of the place. And it’s smart, how they refuse to divulge their suppliers of furniture (on the website) so competition can’t get close.

How many of us really know this “coffee” anyway? Most people (embarrassingly myself as well) can’t even tell the difference between a mocha and a latte, and yet we still buy and consume, enraptured by the prospect of drinking “premium” wares from Darjeeling and Tanzania and all manner of places we never knew existed.

But let’s face it, it’s satisfying; very, very satisfying. The sale of a lifestyle, the world of ideas and brainwash that wraps tightly around the tangible product we receive, works. This is true non-price competition, handing you a cup of coffee with a background so rich that it seems as though you’re drinking life itself.

I am a victim of this unique marketing ploy, a nameless Asian statistic in an MNC’s multimillion-dollar account book. But perhaps sometime in the near future, I’ll sell a lifestyle too. But for now, I’ll try to get the Cambridge examiner fogies to buy my reasonings instead.

- Kowlife

Yes I do commonly read people's blogs and all, some even complete strangers. But there is definitely something in their posts that draws me back frequently to read. A similar chord, a shared experience, just that something in the writing that truly appeals.

Awesome post, kow (you wont see this, but yeah)