Free Spirits

The picture was taken in Prague by my bro, who is on a 42day backpacking trip around Europe. Envious? Definitely. The idea of wandering into the unknown, albeit armed with a giant book of 'lonely planet' europe, is simply one thing that is commonly exhilarating to both my bro and me. He completed a 21 day asia last year and is doing the double now.

Something i will do? Absolutely. He told me that this trip would probably set him back about SGD5000, i guess i'd better start setting aside a bit of my savings for this now.

I guess the allure of backpacking alone that draws us so much stems from how we were brought up. I wouldnt say i hated how i was brought up, it made me who i am today, but we had quite abit of restrictions in the past. Therefore, the idea of foraying out there really entices us. While many might say that the amount of control that my parents exerted over us might have led us to lose that sense of individuality or actually come to feel sheltered; I feel it has somehow worked the opposite, my brother and I simply jump at the opportunity to leap out into murky waters; it helped us develop as individuals not afraid, yearning instead, to explore this world out there.

Had a very leisurely afternoon today at home, a respite after the constant rushing around for the past 3weeks, in fact, i only woke up just awhile ago, sleep has never been so satisfying as when you're tired. I only discovered this morning that i had been living on 5 hours of sleep for the past 3 weeks, was really running on reserved juice for the past week. I guess that explains the headache i felt after only downing a pint of erdinger yesterday with my friends.

In retrospect, the title for this post seems kind of apt, what being the 7th month in the Chinese Calendar after all (where the Hungry Ghost festival takes place), and a tribute to the free spirits out there, those who yearn to step out from shelter, those who long for that tingling feeling of excitement that comes from the unknown.

On a sidenote, i feel like continuing where i left off for classical piano, it's been awhile.

Take Flight.

A good rest coming up; 1 week off from work after rushing around doing parades into the weekends for the past 2 weeks. :)

Been reading a book "Against Happiness" Eric G Wilson. It's basically about how we should relish the times we get down instead of always forcing ourselves to be happy and dandy all the time for "it is the blues that make us human". It's not an easy book to digest; sentences leaving me pondering for durations. Take this for example:

"Experience - a sorrowful sense of the tragic nature of the world, a departure from the bliss of innocence"

The thought of it is compelling, and especially chilling at the same time.

Went for supper after rehearsal for an upcoming event involving chorale and orchestra. Awesome company, had alot of very interesting insights about life's paths, work, education in general. One thing really struck me when we were talking about how people say we're too young expose yourself to the harsh realities of the world at certain ages. Just like how most parents would discourage their schooling children who wants to work. And here's what my friend said to that.

"King Tut ruled Eygpt at the age of 14; Alexandra the Great was probably around 19 when he went about on his great conquests, I guess that says alot yeah."

You're just never too young to learn life's lessons yeah.

And I'm back from the land where Hyundai and Samsung reigns supreme. Confused? Apparently these two mega firms produce practically every kind of product in Korea, and being really supportive of their own products, practically everything I see is either Hyundai or Samsun. oh and Kia too. (Hyundai makes toothbrushes too if you're wondering why i mentioned 2 car brand names)

Have been micro jotting down thoughts and notes, and diligently taking photos as I go from place to place in Korea, so I shall attempt to compile them into an entry soon.

till then, the crazy unpacking starts. (and getting myself connected back into the hectic Singaporean lifestyle )

Land of the morning calm

한국 here i come :)

sealed by a ring
a ring of commitment,
a ring of love,

binding

she sits by the glass bowl
of fishes circling
round and round
and a heavy tapestry
that drapes,
surrounds,
and shrouds.

wondering

fences

i hate it when my parents quarrel.

Tangerines and Kebabs

it's been awhile since i last blogged.

Life's been pretty much the same, save for a few rollercoaster rides up and down the rails of life.

A fortnights' worth of frantic last minute studying drew to a close yesterday morning after taking my SATs, hope i do get a good grade.

What followed was some great food and great company, ramen at ippudo at mandarin gallery, thor at cineleisure, a trip to cat socrates in the evening at bugis to chill, followed by moroccan cuisine sitting alfresco along muscat st.

The listing? Sometimes i just love the life i have, just hanging out with a small group of people, talking about everything under the sun, enjoying good food and just soaking in the vibe around us.

I saw this mail yesterday by a secondary classmate of mine, havent kept in contact with the majority of my graduating secondary class for a couple of years already. What was in the mail was simply an attempt to collate contacts of everybody in that class: including the universities everyone is studying in now and such, also to suggest a possible gathering via a small barbeque.

which really made me ponder, how we all tend to be so caught up in our lives, sometimes ending up neglecting the people who had at some point of our lives, crossed our paths and made a difference; not that we mean to, but we're just too busy.

For that, i really appreciate the efforts of those, far and few, who actually make an effort to organise such gatherings, and also those who reciprocate by trying their best to make the time for the people who we once saw so often, nearly almost everyday at some point of our lives.

as a close friend of mine said,

"it all boils down to each individual - whether they bother or not"

and on a sidenote, happy mother's day ♥

-

Someone once asked me "i wonder where all the money you saved went to"

my answer to that?

the joy of your own son/grandson treating you and your family to a meal, is all the answer i need.

i love you, Ma

Writer's Block

Havent really been posting lately; posting being concrete, proper posts which my prior two posts are not.

Lots of things have been happening in my life.

Hectic i would say, tiring, definitely.

But everytime i sit down to type, words seem to fail the moment i place my fingers on the keyboard.

Alright. there it is.

another nonsensical , mundane post, out of the gazillions in the blogosphere bemoaning the perils of the writer's block.

till then.

Back Here

went out with my parents yesterday noon to my granddad's

He's getting on quite poorly these days, Alzheimer's taking a toll on him. Brought him out for lunch and sat down talking with him, while Mum busied herself in their kitchen, and Dad, forever silent, sat aside reading his papers.

We sat there talking, him asking me the same questions about my life, my brother, where i was, and where he was, over and over again.

then he turned to my Mum suddenly, asking

"when are your sons arriving?"

The pain that the families suffer in light of a single disease is unimaginable, but we all take it in our stride, just for the single happiness of the patient.

For his smile at finding out about his grandchild's life, even for the single minute before he forgets, i'll gladly answer the same questions again and again.

~

Went to my Granduncle's house next, my Uncle just came back from New Zealand with his wife and year old daughter, my baby cousin :)

It always marvels me how mature grown ups revert to their googoogagas upon seeing a single baby.

That saying, she's disgustingly cute :) Spent a whole hour just letting her play with my fingers.

-

It seems highly poignant, a beautiful the cycle of life is.

With the old brings the new, and it just goes on, my uncles and aunts, and my parents will soon grow old, and my cousins, grown up. And newer generations will grow and take our places, of us running around the playground when we were young.

I guess that's life ain it.

-

It was a tiring day, emotionally.

and It's a lazy Sunday today, an afternoon to rest before rehearsal at night.

Clipped

I don't understand why my parents behave certain ways at times. I do know it all stems from their concern for me, but really.

Mum, Dad, I'm not drifting away, neither am I hanging out with the wrong crowd, neither do i not know what is home anymore.

I love you all more than ever. I try to make sure our family dinners, just us four, when bro comes back from hall on weekends remains at least a weekly affair. I don't lock myself away in the room whenever i get the chance, I want to talk to you all more than ever, cause you're family.

I love my friends and I truly believe in my own judgements and my limits. I just want you all to trust me.

And i love home truly. when i was overseas with the orchestra 2 years ago during my birthday, did you know how much i yearned for home? did you know the simple msg you all and brother sent to me meant so much to me, sitting by the window of my room, staring out into the night sky?

I love you all, but the things that happen really tear me up from inside, cause i can never resent you all despite the immense frustration i feel.

~

Someone whom i only just begun to talk to recently, said something to me today which i felt really made alot of sense:

Sometimes, we don't need to judge, neither do we need to care what they judge of you. Just live, and let it be.

Thorns

Must we start quarelling ourselves once our elders have passed on.

Do we all not feel ashamed of ourselves, when the memories of their lives still remain vivid in our senses?

Must what we call family, crumble to bits over little matters like this?

Why.

Oh Glorious Steak.

mine.


my mum's.

Oh dinner was very good indeed.

Never fails to amaze me how I can enjoy, guiltlessly, such artery choking, cholestrol inducing fare. I cant help it, I love them meat just too much. :)

Read a post by a friend that i really wanted to share. Let the post speak for itself:

The coffee bean and tea leaf is a wonderful place.

There’s coffee drinks that I take hours to finish, as voracious a drinker as I am, and I can stay here as long as I want without getting chased off to make way for other customers.

It’s an interesting concept, this coffee house business. It appeals to a different type of consumer; people don’t actually come here for the drinks per se, but instead for the atmosphere, for the air of sophistication and chill more so than the food and beverages.

The vintage couches, woody-panelled tables and jazz music wafting through speakers I just can’t seem to find anywhere in the room, each of these aspects subtlety yet significant contributes to the irresistibility of the place. And it’s smart, how they refuse to divulge their suppliers of furniture (on the website) so competition can’t get close.

How many of us really know this “coffee” anyway? Most people (embarrassingly myself as well) can’t even tell the difference between a mocha and a latte, and yet we still buy and consume, enraptured by the prospect of drinking “premium” wares from Darjeeling and Tanzania and all manner of places we never knew existed.

But let’s face it, it’s satisfying; very, very satisfying. The sale of a lifestyle, the world of ideas and brainwash that wraps tightly around the tangible product we receive, works. This is true non-price competition, handing you a cup of coffee with a background so rich that it seems as though you’re drinking life itself.

I am a victim of this unique marketing ploy, a nameless Asian statistic in an MNC’s multimillion-dollar account book. But perhaps sometime in the near future, I’ll sell a lifestyle too. But for now, I’ll try to get the Cambridge examiner fogies to buy my reasonings instead.

- Kowlife

Yes I do commonly read people's blogs and all, some even complete strangers. But there is definitely something in their posts that draws me back frequently to read. A similar chord, a shared experience, just that something in the writing that truly appeals.

Awesome post, kow (you wont see this, but yeah)

I'm back from duty at camp. Yes it's duty on hari raya puasa. Which is a public holiday. Where practically the rest of the world is at home :(

But something happened yesterday night that made me so happy and all warm inside.
My dad called and was actually harbouring thoughts of buying me prawn mee from longhouse and asking me to sneak out of camp to get it from him at the guardhouse.

Seriously love my parents. :)

It's going to be another busy week ahead.

Concert and parades here i come! :)

The Little Things In Life

Was at the busstop going home from gym when i overheard a group of teenage girls complaining about their life.

I guess at some point of our lives. we all have complained about how our lifes suck, and start recalling all those negative things that have happened. But honestly, we don't we all pause for a moment, and start thinking of those little things that have happened in our life that we take for granted?

I sometimes feel how my parents have this persistent need to check in on me 24/7, so much so that it becomes irritating, but really, why would they even bother doing it if not for their love for me?

Or how we dwell on certain things our friends did that irk us and decided the friendship might not last? instead, why not think about the company they have provided, and the countless joys and laughter that have been shared together?

And then ask yourself again, what have you done for your friends instead?

I'm happy for the loving family I have, the wonderful friends I known, and even for the acquaintances I have met.

I'm happy for my personal accomplisments, the life I'm leading and where I intend to head.

I'm happy for recognising the many little things in life that provide me with that little spark and warmth in my heart to keep going.

So take a second, chuck those unhappy thoughts constantly dwelling around in our head, and cherish those little bits of happiness that have flew past us unknowingly.

Life really is wonderful, you'll find.

Work Life

(ignore the words on the planner, it's just some picture from online i took and fiddled with)

was going to meet up with a friend today, which was rescheduled till thur cause her schedule was pretty packed..

which i had to reschedule later on at night cause i just agreed to attend sectionals for the upcoming monday concert this thurs.. prolly am gonng meet her pretty much later next month or something cause she's flying off to india for business.

-

nevertheless, this event really led me to think, how much am i willing to sacrifice my work life for my social life, or if it would be better to rephrase it, my social life for my work life? i honestly know that friends and family mean the world to me, but i somehow usually let my work fill up all my time, so much so that i seem to have no time for those dear to me.

-

to my friends and family, though this blog is for my eyes only as far as i know, i swear i will try my very best to squeeze out whatever time i have to spend with you guys, cause you are the people that keep me going through this madness we call life.

:)

-

in other news, i'm really, very, very motivated to practice very hard once more. thank you mr lim, for your words you shared with just a simple lunch

Family

Bro came back from his foray into the 'big bad world' of 21 days to cambodia thailand and vietnam.

and he bought lots of stuffs :)

spent 1 and half hour at dinner in conversation. a nice family dinner. (prolly partially also due to the food taking so long to be served)

miss these rare family bonding times.

he's starting school come wednesday, and i'd prolly get busier and busier as the year draws to an end.

nevertheless, these moments, i live for and nothing in the world would make me miss out on them.

it's a cold night, yet, call me cheesy, but i feel warm inside.

-

anyhow, have a safe trip, you.